MARRIAGES IN HEAVEN
366. As heaven is from the human race, and consequently the angels there are of both sexes, and from creation woman is for man and man is for woman, thus the one belongs to the other, and this love is innate in both, it follows that there are marriages in heaven as well as on the earth. But marriages in heaven differ widely from marriages on the earth. Therefore what marriages in heaven are, and how they differ from marriages on the earth and wherein they are like them, will now be told.
367. Marriage in heaven is a conjunction of two into one mind. It will first be explained what this conjunction is. The mind consists of two parts, one called the understanding and the other the will. When these two parts act as one they are said to be one mind. In heaven the husband acts the part called the understanding and the wife acts the part called the will. When this conjunction, which belongs to man's interiors, descends into the lower things pertaining to the body, it is perceived and felt as love, and this love is conjugial love. From this it is clear that conjugial love has its origin in the conjunction of two into one mind. This in heaven is called cohabitation; and it is said that they are not two but one. So in heaven a married pair is spoken of, not as two, but as one angel.#
----------------- [References] Out of The Arcana Coelestia -----------------# It is not known at this day what conjugial love is, or whence it is (n. 2727). Conjugial love is willing what another wills, thus willing mutually and reciprocally (n. 2731). Those who are in conjugial love dwell together in the inmosts of life (n. 2732). It is such a union of two minds that from love they are one (n. 10168, 10169). For the love of minds, which is spiritual love, is a union (n. 1594, 2057, 3939, 4018, 5807, 6195, 7081-7086, 7501, 10130).
368. Moreover, such a conjunction of husband and wife in the inmosts of their minds comes from their very creation; for man is born to be intellectual, that is, to think from the understanding, while woman is born to be voluntary, that is, to think from the will; and this is evident from the inclination or natural disposition of each, also from their form, from the disposition, in that man acts from reason and woman from affection, from the form, in that man has a rougher and less beautiful face, a deeper voice and a harder body; while woman has a smoother and more beautiful face, a softer voice, and a more tender body. There is a like difference between understanding and will, or between thought and affection; so, too, between truth and good and between faith and love; for truth and faith belong to the understanding, and good and love to the will. From this it is that in the Word "youth" or "man" means in the spiritual sense the understanding of truth, and "virgin" or "woman" the affection of good; also that the Church, on account of its affection of good and truth, is called a "woman" and a "virgin"; also that all those who are in the affection of good are called "virgins" (as in Rev. xiv. 4).#
----------------- [References] Out of The Arcana Coelestia -----------------# In the Word "young men" signify understanding of truth, or the intelligent (n. 7668). "Men" have the same signification (n. 158, 265, 749, 915, 1007, 2517, 3134, 3236, 4823, 9007). "Woman" signifies affection for good and truth (n. 568, 3160, 6014, 7337, 8994); likewise the Church (n. 252, 253, 749, 770); "wife" has the same signification (n. 252, 253, 409, 749, 770); with what difference (n. 915, 2517, 3236, 4510, 4823). In the highest sense "husband and wife" are predicated of the Lord and of His conjunction with heaven and the Church (n. 7022). A "virgin" signifies affection for good (n. 3067, 3110, 3179, 3189, 6729, 6742); likewise the Church (n. 2362, 3081, 3963, 4638, 6729, 6775, 6788).
369. Everyone, whether man or woman, rejoices in understanding and will; but with the man the understanding predominates, and with the woman the will predominates, and the character is determined by that which predominates. Yet in marriages in the heavens there is no predominance; for the will of the wife is also the husband's will, and the understanding of the husband is also the wife's understanding, since each loves to will and to think as the other, that is, mutually and reciprocally. Thus are they conjoined into one. This conjunction is actual conjunction, for the will of the wife enters into the understanding of the husband, and the understanding of the husband into the will of the wife, and this especially when they look into one another's faces; for, as has been repeatedly said above, there is in the heavens a sharing of thoughts and affections, more especially with husband and wife, because they reciprocally love each other. From all this it can be established what the conjunction of minds is that makes marriage and produces conjugial love in the heavens, namely, that one wishes what is his own to be the other's, and this reciprocally.
370. I have been told by angels that so far as a married pair are so conjoined they are in conjugial love, and also to the same extent in intelligence, wisdom and happiness, because Divine Truth and Divine Good, which are the source of all intelligence, wisdom, and happiness, flow chiefly into conjugial love; consequently conjugial love, since there is at the same time a marriage of good and truth, is the very plane of Divine influx. For that love, as it is a conjunction of the understanding and will, is also a conjunction of truth and good, since the understanding receives Divine Truth and is formed out of truths, and the will receives Divine Good and is formed out of goods. For what a man wills is to him good, and what he understands is to him truth; therefore it is the same whether you say conjunction of understanding and will or conjunction of truth and good. Conjunction of truth and good is what makes an angel; it also makes his intelligence, wisdom, and happiness; for an angel is an angel accordingly as good in him is conjoined with truth and truth with good; or what is the same, accordingly as the love pertaining to him is conjoined with faith and faith with love.
371. The Divine that goes forth from the Lord flows chiefly into conjugial love because conjugial love descends from a conjunction of good and truth; for, as has been said above, it is the same thing whether you say conjunction of understanding and will or conjunction of good and truth. Conjunction of good and truth has its origin in the Lord's Divine Love towards all who are in heaven and on earth. From Divine Love, Divine Good goes forth, and Divine Good is received by angels and men in Divine truths. Truth is the sole receptacle of good. Wherefore nothing can be received from the Lord and from heaven by anyone who is not in truths; therefore, just to the extent that the truths with man are conjoined to good, is man conjoined to the Lord and to heaven. This, then, is the very origin of conjugial love, and for this reason that love is the very plane of Divine influx. This is why the conjunction of good and truth in heaven is termed the heavenly marriage, and heaven is likened in the Word to a marriage, and is termed a marriage; and the Lord is called the "Bridegroom" and "Husband", and heaven and also the Church are called the "bride" and the "wife".#
----------------- [References] Out of The Arcana Coelestia -----------------# The origin, cause, and essence of truly conjugial love is the marriage of good and truth; thus it is from heaven (n. 2728, 2729). Respecting angelic spirits, who have a perception whether there is anything of marriage from the idea of a conjunction of good and truth (n. 10756). It is with conjugial love in every respect the same as it is with the conjunction of good and truth (n. 1904, 2173, 2429, 2508, 3101, 3102, 3155, 3179, 3180, 4358, 5807, 5835, 9206, 9495, 9637). How and with whom the conjunction of good and truth is effected (n. 3834, 4096, 4097, 4301, 4345, 4353, 4364, 4368, 5365, 7623-7627, 9258). Only those who are in good and truth from the Lord know what truly conjugial love is (n. 10171). In the Word "marriage" signifies the marriage of good and truth (n. 3132, 4434, 4835). The kingdom of the Lord and heaven are in truly conjugial love (n. 2737).
372. Good and truth conjoined with an angel or a man are not two but one, since good is then of truth and truth is of good. This conjunction may be likened to a man's thinking what he wills and willing what he thinks, when the thought and will make one, that is, one mind; for thought forms, that is, presents in form that which the will wishes, and the will gives delight to it; and this is why a married pair in heaven are not said to be a pair, but to be one angel. This also is what is meant by the Lord's words:
Have ye not read that He who made them from the beginning made them male and female, and said, For this cause shall a man leave father and mother and shall cleave to his wife, and they twain shall become one flesh? Therefore, they are no more twain, but one flesh. What, therefore, God hath joined together, let not man put asunder. Not all can receive this word but they to whom it is given. Matt. xix. 4-6, 11; Mark x. 6-9; Gen. ii. 24.
This is a description both of the heavenly marriage in which the angels are and of the marriage of good and truth. "Man's not putting asunder what God has joined together" means that good is not to be separated from truth.
373. From all this can be seen the origin of truly conjugial love, namely, that it is formed first in the minds of those who are in marriage, and descends therefrom and is derived into the body, where it is perceived and felt as love; for whatever is felt and perceived in the body draws its origin from the spiritual of that body, because, it is from the understanding and the will. The understanding and the will make the spiritual man. Whatever descends from the spiritual man into the body presents itself there under another aspect, although it is similar and in agreement, like soul and body, and like cause and effect, as can be established from the things that have been said and shown in the two sections on Correspondences.
374. I heard an angel describing truly conjugial love and its heavenly delights in this manner: That it is the Lord's Divine in the heavens, which is Divine Good and Divine Truth so united in two persons, that they are not as two but as one. He said that in heaven the two consorts are that love, since everyone is his own good and his own truth both as to mind and body, the body being an image of the mind because it is formed after its likeness. From this he drew the conclusion that the Divine is imaged in a pair who are in truly conjugial love; and as the Divine is so imaged, so is heaven, because the entire heaven is Divine Good and Divine Truth going forth from the Lord; and this is why all things of heaven are inscribed on that love with blessings and delights beyond number. He expressed the number by a term that involved myriads of myriads. He wondered that the man of the Church knows nothing about this, seeing that the Church is the Lord's heaven on the earth, and heaven is a marriage of good and truth. He said he was astounded to think that within the Church, even more than outside it, adulteries are committed and even justified; the delight of which in itself is nothing else in a spiritual sense, and consequently in the spiritual world, than the delight of the love of falsity conjoined to evil, which delight is infernal delight, because it is the direct opposite of the delight of heaven, which is the delight of the love of truth conjoined with good.
375. Everyone knows that a married pair who love each other are interiorly united, and that the essential of a marriage is the union of dispositions (animus) and minds (mens). And from this it can be known that such as their essential dispositions or minds are, such is their union and such their love for each other. The mind is formed solely out of truths and goods, for all things in the universe have relation to good and truth and to their conjunction. Therefore such as the truths and goods are out of which the minds are formed, exactly such is the union of minds; and consequently, the most perfect union is the union of minds that are formed out of genuine truths and goods. Let it be known that no two things mutually love each other more than truth and good do; and therefore it is from that love that truly conjugial love descends.
----------------- [References] Out of The Arcana Coelestia -----------------# Falsity and evil also love each other, but this love is afterwards changed into hell. # All things in the universe, both in heaven and in the world, have relation to good and truth (n. 2452, 3166, 4390, 4409, 5232, 7256, 10122). And to the conjunction of these (n. 10555). Between good and truth there is marriage (n. 1904, 2173, 2508). Good loves truth, and from love longs for truth and for the conjunction of truth with itself, and from this they are in a perpetual endeavour to be conjoined (n. 9206, 9207, 9495). The life of truth is from good (n. 1589, 1997, 2572, 4070, 4096, 4097, 4736, 4757, 4884, 5147, 9667). Truth is the form of good (n. 3049, 3180, 4574, 9154). Truth is to good as water is to bread (n. 4976).
376. From what has now been said about the origin of conjugial love, one may conclude who are in that love and who are not; namely, that those are in conjugial love who are in Divine Good from Divine truths; and that conjugial love is genuine just to the extent that the truths are genuine with which the good is conjoined. And as all the good that is conjoined with truths is from the Lord, it follows that no one can be in truly conjugial love unless he acknowledges the Lord and His Divine; for without that acknowledgment the Lord cannot flow in and be conjoined with the truths that are with a man.
377. From this it is clear that those who are in falsities, and especially in falsities from evil, are not in conjugial love. Moreover, those who are in evil and in falsities therefrom have the interiors of their minds closed up; and, therefore, there can be no source of conjugial love therein; but below those interiors, in the external or natural man separated from the internal, there can be a conjunction of falsity and evil, which is called infernal marriage. I have been permitted to see what this marriage is between those who are in the falsities of evil, which is called infernal marriage. Such converse together, and are united by a lustful desire, but inwardly they burn with a deadly hatred towards each other, too intense to be described.
378. Nor can there be conjugial love between two partners belonging to different religions, because the truth of the one does not agree with the good of the other; and two unlike and discordant kinds of good and truth cannot make one mind out of two; and in consequence the love of such does not have its origin in anything spiritual. If they live together and agree it is solely on natural grounds.# And this is why in the heavens marriages are found only with those who are in the same society, because such are in like good and truth, and not with those outside the society. It may be seen above (n. 4!, seq.) that all there in a society are in like good and truth, and differ from those outside the society. This was also represented in the Israelitish nation by marriages being contracted within tribes, and partictilarly within families, and not outside them.
----------------- [References] Out of The Arcana Coelestia -----------------# Marriages between those of different religions are not permissible, because there can be no conjunction of like good and truth in the interiors (n. 8998).
379. Nor is truly conjugial love possible between one husband and several wives; for its spiritual origin, which is the formation of one mind out of two, is thus destroyed; and in consequence, interior conjunction, which is the conjunction of good and truth, from which is the very essence of that love, is also destroyed. Marriage with more than one is like an understanding divided among several wills; or it is like a man attached not to one but to several churches, since his faith is so distracted thereby as to come to naught. The angels declare that marrying several wives is wholly contrary to Divine order, and that they know this from several reasons, one of which is that, as soon as they think of marriage with more than one, they are alienated from internal blessedness and heavenly happiness, and become like drunken men, because good is separated from its truth with them. And as the interiors of their mind are brought into such a state merely by thinking about it with some intention, they perceive clearly that marriage with more than one would close up their internal mind, and cause conjugial love to be displaced by lustful love, which love withdraws from heaven.# They declare further that this is not easily comprehended by men because there are few who are in genuine conjugial love, and those who are not in it know nothing whatever of the interior delight that is in that love, knowing only the delight of lust, and this delight is changed into what is undelightful after living together a short time; while the delight of truly conjugial love not only endures to old age in the world, but after death becomes the delight of heaven and is there filled with an interior delight that grows more and more perfect to eternity. They said also that the varieties of blessedness of truly conjugial love could be enumerated even to many thousands, not even one of which is known to man, or can enter into the comprehension of anyone who is not in the marriage of good and truth from the Lord.
----------------- [References] Out of The Arcana Coelestia -----------------# As husband and wife should be one, and should live together in the inmost of life, and as they together make one angel in heaven, so truly conjugial love is impossible between one husband and several wives (n. 1907, 2740). To marry several wives at the same time is contrary to Divine order (n. 10837). That there is no marriage except between one husband and one wife is clearly perceived by those who are in the Lord's celestial kingdom (n. 865, 3246, 9002, 10172). For the reason that the angels there are in the marriage of good and truth (n. 3246). The Israelitish nation were permitted to marry several wives, and to add concubines to wives, but not Christians, for the reason that that nation was in externals separate from internals, while Christians are able to enter into internals, thus into the marriage of good and truth (n. 3246, 4837, 8809).
380. The love of dominion of one over the other entirely takes away conjugial love and its heavenly delight, for as has been said above, conjugial love and its delight consists in the will of one being that of the other, and this mutually and reciprocally. This is destroyed by love of dominion in marriage, since he who domineers wishes his will alone to be in the other, and nothing of the other's will to be reciprocally in himself, which destroys all mutuality, and thus all sharing of any love and its delight one with the other. And yet this sharing and consequent conjunction are the interior delight itself that is called blessedness in marriage. This blessedness, with everything that is heavenly and spiritual in conjugial love, is so completely extinguished by love of dominion as to destroy even all knowledge of it; and if that love were referred to, it would be held in such contempt that any mention of blessedness from that source would excite either laughter or anger.  When one wills or loves what the other wills or loves, each has freedom, since all freedom is of love; but where there is dominion no one has freedom; one is a servant, and the other who rules is also a servant, for he is led as a servant by the lust of domineering. But all this is wholly beyond the comprehension of one who does not know what the freedom of heavenly love is. Nevertheless, from what has been said above about the origin and essence of conjugial love, it can be known that so far as dominion enters, minds are not conjoined but divided. Dominion subjugates, and a subjugated mind has either no will or an opposing will. If it has no will it has also no love; and if it has an opposing will there is hatred in place of love.  The interiors of those who live in such marriage are in mutual collision and strife, as two opposites are wont to be, however their exteriors may be restrained and kept quiet for the sake of tranquillity. The collision and strife of the interiors of such reveals itself after their death, when commonly they come together and fight like enemies and tear each other; for they then act in accordance with the state of the interiors. Frequently I have been permitted to see them fighting and tearing one another, sometimes with great vengeance and cruelty. For in the other life, everyone's interiors are set at liberty; and they are no longer restrained by external things on account of worldly considerations, everyone then being just such as he is interiorly.
381. To some a likeness of conjugial love is granted. Yet unless they are in the love of good and truth there is no conjugial love, but only a love which from several causes appears like conjugial love, namely, that they may secure good service at home, that they may be free from care, or at peace, or at ease; that they may be cared for in sickness or in old age, or that the children whom they love may be attended to. Some are constrained by fear of the other consort, or by fear of the loss of reputation, or other evil consequences, and some by a controlling lust. Moreover, in the consorts, conjugial love may differ, in one there may be more or less of it, in the other little or none; and because of this difference heaven may be the portion of one and hell the portion of the other.
382. [a] In the inmost heaven there is genuine conjugial love because the angels there are in the marriage of good and truth, and also in innocence. The angels of the lower heavens are also in conjugial love, but only so far as they are in innocence; for conjugial love viewed in itself is a state of innocence; and this is why consorts who are in conjugial love enjoy heavenly delights together, which appear before their minds almost like the games of innocence, as between little children; for everything delights their minds, since heaven with its joy flows into every particular of their lives. For the same reason conjugial love is represented in heaven by the most beautiful objects. I have seen it represented by a maiden of indescribable beauty encompassed with a bright white cloud. It is said that the angels in heaven have all their beauty from conjugial love. The affections and thought from that love are represented by diamond-like auras with scintillations as if from fiery stones and rubies, which are attended by delights that affect the interiors of the mind. In a word, heaven represents itself in conjugial love, because heaven with the angels is the conjunction of good and truth, and it is this conjunction that makes conjugial love.
382. [b]* Marriages in heaven differ from marriages on the earth in that the procreation of offspring is another purpose of marriages on the earth, but not of marriages in heaven, since in heaven the procreation of good and truth takes the place of procreation of offspring. The former takes the place of the latter because marriage in heaven is a marriage of good and truth (as has been shown above); and as in that marriage good and truth and their conjunction are loved above all things so these are what are propagated by marriages in heaven. And because of this, in the Word births and generations signify spiritual births and generations, which are births and generations of good and truth; mother and father signify truth conjoined to good, which is what procreates; sons and daughters signify the truths and goods that are procreated; and sons-in-law and daughters-in-law conjunction of these, and so on.# From this it is clear that marriages in heaven are not like marriages on earth. In heaven there are spiritual marryings which are not to be called marryings, but conjunctions of minds from the marriage of good and truth. But on earth there are marryings, because these are not of the spirit alone but also of the flesh. And as there are no marryings in heaven, so the two consorts there are not called husband and wife; but from the angelic idea of the joining of two minds into one, each consort designates the other by a name signifying one's own, mutually and reciprocally. From these things it can be known how the Lord's words in regard to marryings (Luke xx. 35, 36), are to be understood.
----------------- [References] Out of The Arcana Coelestia -----------------# "Conceptions", "pregnancies", "births", and "generations" signify such as are spiritual, that is, such as pertain to good and truth, or to love and faith (n. 613, 1145, 1255, 2020, 2584, 3860, 3868, 4070, 4668, 6239, 8042, 9325, 10249). Therefore "generation" and "birth" signify regeneration and rebirth through faith and love (n. 5160, 5598, 9042, 9845). "Mother" signifies the Church in respect of truth, and thus the truth of the Church, "father" the Church in respect of good, and thus the good of the Church (n. 2691, 2717, 3703, 5581, 8897). "Sons" signify affections for truth, and thus truths (n. 489, 491, 533, 2623, 3373, 4257, 8649, 9807). "Daughters" signify affections for good, and thus goods (n. 489-491, 2362, 3963, 6729, 6775, 6778, 9055). "Son-in-law" signifies truth associated with affection for good (n. 2389). "Daughter-in-law" signifies good associated with its truth (n. 4843).
* There are two nos. 382 in 1st Edition-Editor.
383. I have also been permitted to see how those in the heavens are associated in marriage. Everywhere in heaven those who are alike are associated together and those who are unlike are dissociated. Any one society in heaven therefore consists of those who are alike. Like are brought to like, not by themselves but by the Lord (see above, n. 41, 43, 44, seq.); and equally, consort to consort whose minds can be joined into one are drawn together; and consequently at first sight they inmostly love each other, and see themselves to be consorts, and enter into marriage. For this reason all marriages in heaven are from the Lord alone; They have also marriage feasts; and these are attended by many; but the festivities differ in different societies.
384. Marriages on the earth are most holy in the sight of the angels of heaven because they are seminaries of the human race, and also of the angels of heaven (heaven being from the human race, as already shown above, in the relevant section), also because these marriages are from a spiritual origin, namely, from the marriage of good and truth, and because the Lord's Divine flows especially into that love. Adulteries, on the other hand, are regarded by the angels as profane because they are contrary to conjugial love; for as in marriages the angels behold the marriage of good and truth, which is heaven, so in adulteries they behold the marriage of falsity and evil, which is hell. If, then, they but hear adulteries mentioned they turn away. And this is why heaven is closed up to man when he commits adultery from delight; and when heaven is closed, man no longer acknowledges the Divine nor anything of the faith of the Church.# That all who are in hell are antagonistic to conjugial love I have been permitted to perceive from the sphere exhaling therefrom, which was like an unceasing endeavour to dissolve and violate marriages; which shows that the reigning delight in hell is the delight of adultery, and the delight of adultery is a delight in destroying the conjunction of good and truth, which conjunction makes heaven. From this it follows that the delight of adultery is an infernal delight directly opposed to the delight of marriage, which is a heavenly delight.
----------------- [References] Out of The Arcana Coelestia -----------------# Adulteries are profane (n. 9961, 10174). Heaven is closed to adulterers (n. 2750). Those who have experienced delight in adulteries cannot come into heaven (n. 539, 2733, 2747-2749, 2751, 10175). Adulterees are unmerciful and destitute of religion (n. 824, 2747, 2748). The ideas of adulterers are filthy (n. 2747, 2748). In the other life they love filth and are in filthy hells (n. 2755, 5394, 5722). In the Word "adulteries" signify adulterations of good, and "whoredoms" perversions of truth (n. 2466, 2729, 3399, 4865, 8904, 10648).
385. There were certain spirits who, from a practice acquired in the life of the body, infested me with peculiar craftiness, and this by a very gentle wave-like influx like the usual influx of well-disposed spirits; but I perceived that there was craftiness and other like evils in them prompting them to ensnare and deceive. Finally, I talked with one of them who, I was told, had been when he lived in the world the commander of an army; and perceiving that there was a lustfulness in the ideas of his thought, I talked with him about marriage, using spiritual speech with representatives, which fully expresses all that is meant and many things in a moment. He said that in the life of the body he had regarded adulteries as of no account. But I was permitted to tell him that adulteries are heinous, although to those like himself they do not appear to be such, and even appear permissible, on account of their seductive and enticing delights. That they are heinous he might know from the fact that marriages are the seminaries of the human race, and thus also the seminaries of the heavenly kingdom; consequently they must on no account be violated, but must be esteemed holy. This he might know also from the fact, which he ought to know because of his being in the other life and in a state of perception, that conjugial love descends from the Lord through heaven, and from that love, as from a parent, mutual love, which is the foundation of heaven, is derived; and again from this, that if adulterers merely draw near to heavenly societies they are aware of their own stench and cast themselves down therefrom towards hell. At least he might have known that to violate marriages is contrary to Divine laws, and contrary to the civil laws of all kingdoms, also contrary to the genuine light of reason, because it is contrary to both Divine and human order, and more besides. But he replied that he had not so thought in the life of the body. He wished to reason about whether it were so, but was told that truth does not admit of reasonings; for reasonings defend what one delights in, and thus one's evils and falsities; that he ought first to think about the things that had been said because they are truths; or at least think about them from the principle very well known in the world, that no one should do to another what he is unwilling that another should do to him; thus he should consider whether he himself would not have detested adulteries if anyone had in that way deceived his wife, whom he had loved as everyone loves in the first period of marriage, and if in his state of wrath he had expressed himself on the subject; also whether being a man of talent he would not in that case have confirmed himself more decidedly than others against adulteries, even condemning them to hell.
386. I have been shown how the delights of conjugial love advance towards heaven, and the delights of adultery towards hell. The advance of the delights of conjugial love towards heaven was into states of blessedness and happiness continually increasing until they became innumerable and ineffable, and the more interiorly they advanced the more innumerable and more ineffable they became, until they reached the very states of blessedness and happiness of the inmost heaven, or of the heaven of innocence, and this through the most perfect freedom; for all freedom is from love, thus the most perfect freedom is from conjugial love, which is heavenly love itself. On the other hand, the advance of adultery was towards hell, and by degrees to the lowest hell, where there is nothing but what is direful and horrible. Such a lot awaits adulterers after their life in the world, those being meant as adulterers who perceive a delight in adulteries, and no delight in marriages.
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